I am writing this to remind myself in future :
~~ should i be faced with the stress of change, that eventually, everything will be FINE.
~~ when i think that the situation is very difficult and the skies are grey -- that simply by pressing on, what greets me could be clear blue skies and a bright shining sun!!
Growing up, i've always seen myself as capable and so, appearing confident was natural. But underneath the persona of confidence, was that of insecurity and fears. As the years past, i got to know myself a little better ;p I am by nature, pessimistic. I will think of all the (worst) possibility scenarios. I like familiarity and i like to set boundaries to work within. i plan and plan and plan. i like contingency plans. I beat myself up over the smallest mistake/deviation. It is no wonder that I was easily stressed at work. Then again, i do enjoy the adrenalin that comes with it as well!
Faith in God helped me to some extent i suppose. I can say that knowing that God holds my future in his Hands, that He wants only the best for his child, brings comfort and allowed me to struggle less. but that doesn't mean that i didn't struggle.
Thank God also for hubbie who provides a balance with his more laid-back and everything will turn out fine attitude!!! what will i do without him?
There have been so many many changes in my life since end 2003/early 2004 and sometimes i must say that my in-born nature gets the better of me! o, i remember the adjustments, the struggles, sometimes reluctance and of couse some sadness and anger. Of course, peppered along the way the joys and happiness and love of God.
At the end of day, the sun is shining, the skies are blue.
so there, Wei Sze, whatever lies ahead, it's going to be fine. Just go along and enjoy the journey! Don't think too much about the destination cos at the end of the day, it may not be where u think u are going ;p