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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

细水长流

那天看电视时,听到了好久好久没听到的新谣歌曲, 勾起了许多回忆.
年少时的热诚, 冲动,快活, 烦恼 (现在回想起来,根本不是什么烦恼啦)等等, 一一浮现脑海.
即使有不好的回忆, 时间已冲淡一切. 留下只有美丽的回忆..... :)


就是这首"细水长流" :

年少時候 谁沒有梦
无意之中 你将心愿透露
就在你生日的時候 我将小小口琴送
最难忘记 你的笑容
友情的细水慢慢流 流进了你我的心中
曾在球场边为你欢呼 你跌伤我背负
夜里流星飞渡 想象着他日的路途
晚风听着我们壮志无数
年少时候 谁沒有愁
满腔愤慨 唯有你能听得懂
每当我失意的时候 你将那首歌吹奏
琴声悠悠 解我 情愁
岁月的细水慢慢流 流到了別离的时候
轻拍你的肩 听我说朋友不要太惆悵
霓虹纵然再嚣張 我们的步履有方向
成败不论切莫将昔日遗忘
多年以后 又再相逢
我们都有了疲倦的笑容
问一声我的朋友 何时再为我吹奏
是否依旧 是否依旧
岁月的细水慢慢流 流到了別离的時候
轻拍你的肩 听我说朋友不要太惆悵
霓虹纵然再嚣張 我们的步履有方向
成败不论切莫将昔日遗忘
多年以后 又再相逢
我们都有了疲倦的笑容
问一声我的朋友 何时再为我吹奏
是否依旧 是否依旧
人生的际遇千百种 但有知心长相重
人愿长久 水愿长流 年少時候

Friday, January 22, 2010

Moring @ the Bank

yesterday morning, i brought kaira, together with my mum, to the bank for some admin. i thought i will take half an hour or so. in the end we were at the bank for 1.5 hours!!

knowing that kaira was getting abit impatient already (i can hear her talking very loudly at the other end of the office), when i was done, i hurriedly held her hands and walked out of the branch -- i had a surprise .... almost all the RMs know her name! and she was waving bye bye to everybody.

and she received free toys/stationery from the bank staff.

this gal -- so very entertaining and cute so sometimes!!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Sisters

Today, i am very very happy.

A sister of mine, P, whom i have not seen in since she left hong kong in 2006 flew in from australian on-route to Malaysia. together with another sister, O, who moved back to singapore from hong kong, we had a gathering and it was such a great time! All we were missing is sister G!!! Then it would be just like old times!!

they are dear sisters whom i got to know during my time in hong kong and even though our friendship is considered short, yet, there is an uncanny bond between us. i do not know how to explain it. it's the bond of the Lord Jesus i suppose -- our common faith and beliefs; truly sisters-in-Christ indeed. in fact, i remember my first meeting with them @ a bible study group and immediately feeling very comfortable with them. and over time spent @ lunch, tea, prayers, bible study etc, they have become my confidantes and prayer support as well.

even when i was in hong kong, there was a period we hardly meet cos i working. and when i stopped working and re-connected with them, i felt like i was back with my family. over time, P left hong kong, followed by O and then me. and as we each get busy with our lives in different countries, we may not write as frequent as we like or keep in touch constantly. yet when we do write or when we do meet, it felt like we have never been apart.

i really thank God for bringing these lovely sisters into my life. they have been such a great blessing and i am very blessed by their thoughtfulness, their love and prayer support.

I am counting my blessings indeed. they are very very precious to me.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

A Miscarriage

So, now i understand how it feels going through a miscarriage.

I am not sure why, but i wanted to write about how i felt and what i went through. Guess some people may choose to be more private about their experiences. i am not sure why i want to write so "publicly" about it ...

maybe to me, being able to "vent" and get my thoughts/feelings out of my system through writing is my way of coping with the loss, of grieving. and by making it "public", and by coming "face to face" with it, it forms part of the healing process.

and writing about it is also my way of remembering this little life, which no one saw/felt except me.

Thank God for His presence and comfort throughout, especially the day that i received the news. Hubbie being away, i went for my regular check-up alone. Actually, with a very smooth first pregnancy, i had expected a similarly smooth second one. although in the past year, i have had 2 frens in eindhoven who had miscarriages, the possibility of a miscarriage seemed "unreal".

with the knowledge that the baby is dead, and the decision to undergo the D&C on the same day, i had to call hubbie and my parents (cos they were not expecting to take care of kaira for longer than a couple of hours) to inform them. The grief struck home when i had to say the words "the baby is dead" to hubbie. oooooo, the sadness just welled within me and i needed a good cry. but i was in a public area, waiting for the nurses to give me medication and really, not the best place for a good cry.

i didn't have much time after that, about 1.5 hours to the scheduled procedure time. and most of that time was spent checking myself in for the procedure, taking blood pressure, signing documents etc, it was just like a series of motions -- emotionless. in between when i had time, i had to vent. i sms-ed a few close frens and my prayer sisters overseas. i needed to share my sorrow and i knew that i needed prayers and some comfort. thank God my close fren E volunteered to pick me up after the procedure, cos i didn't know how i will be feeling then.

anywayz, i had abit of time to digest everything whilst waiting for the D&C procedure to take place. especially lying on the trolley bed just outside the operating theatre! seemed like eternity but i think it was like 10 mins or so?? i am not sure.

thank God i didn't feel self pity or anything ;p i mean amazingly, i didn't entertain thoughts such as why am i alone going through all these, where is hubbie ? why did it happen? was it my fault? etc somehow, God's comforting presence and assurance was very strong throughout. in fact, i am not sure what really went through my mind while i was lying there on bed. just feeling sad about a life that was not going to be...... yet peaceful at the thought that since it was not perfectly formed in the first place, that God took it home first. And throughout, He seemed to be telling me that indeed, I am not alone for He is the omnipresent God. and nothing happened by chance. the foetus didn't survive not because it's a mistake. i may not understand the whys, but i can rest in the knowledge of a faithful and loving God.

[if u went through a miscarriage and is unfortunate to receive snide remarks/insinuations that it could possibly be something that you did/did not do/was exposed to that caused the miscarriage -- PLEASE REJECT THE LIE OF THE DEVIL IMMEDIATELY. you do not deserve such insensitive and ignorant and immature comments from the someone who sprouts such untruths! such guilt has no place!]

anywayz, after the GA was administered, the next thing i know, i woke up ard 3pm+. thank God i wasn't feeling giddy, nauseous or anything. again, spent the time alone in the hospital bed, while waiting for the doctor to come and check, digesting everything. and i am thankful for the time alone. i think i needed it. to come to terms with the situation myself before i "face" the world. so in between sms-es,i was praying and resting in the presence of Jesus, the lover of my soul.

and thank God for E, whose shoulders i can lean on and have a good cry. i needed that. even if it was only for a short while.

that night as i lay on bed to go to sleep, i had imagined that i would be sadder. surprisingly, the strength that arise from the faith in the almighty God, in the love of Jesus, was stronger than i expected.

That, I am grateful.

Jeremiah 31:13 :
I will turn their mourning into gladness;
I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.


And so, i continue my journey, holding the hands of Jesus, my Saviour, my comfort.

Friday, January 15, 2010

GoodBye Lil' Beanie

Sorry, i lost you.

Although we only had a short time together, you cannot imagine the sadness i felt when the reality that i've lost you sank in. The sadness of what could have been.

At the gynae today, when i saw how small you were, i knew something was wrong without even the doctor telling me. Then, the doc couldn't detect any heartbeat. I knew that i had to say goodbye.

of course, i do not know why this has happened. God knows. And i believe His plans are perfect. He gives and he takes away. But my heart still choose to say "Blessed be Your Name".

Lord, if you mean for us to have another child, then we shall wait patiently for the right time and for the perfect child to come our way. Otherwise, we thank you. We thank you for the lovely child we already have. And the knowledge that Your plans are the best for us.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Happy Birthday Papa!



wishing dearest Papa a blessed birthday and year ahead!!! Here's a birthday "song" from Kaira :))

Sunday, January 10, 2010

12.

Time Flies. Another has passed.

and this year, we celebrate 12 years of marriage. Unfortunately, once again, we have to "celebrate" it apart! ;p

Happy Anniversary dear Papa and to more good years!

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Local Food -- Singapore

Everytime i come back home, getting my fill of the local food is of TOP priority. of course i would love to eat only the BEST of the BEST but seriously, limited by time, how accessible the place is, and whether any changes has taken place, it's just not very possible.

and so, i usually try to go to places where i can get a good variety @ one go plus comfortable surroundings so that i can at least catch up with some friends or enjoy the meal with hubbie in peace.

and over the years, i have become a creature of habit usually visiting the following places for my local food fix :
(1) straits kitchen @ hyatt hotel for a great sampling of local food.
(2) princess terrance @ copthorne king's hotel for penang food. my favorite penang laksa!! very difficult to find a good one
(3) Kopitiam @ Swissotel. here i can get my assam curry fish head.
(4) Zion Road hawker centre for char kway teow, satay, noodles etc

and of course, i must eat my fill of local snacks especially curry puffs!!! for some reason, i love the Old CHang Kee curry puffs. i know i shouldn't eat too many of those but i can't help it. hehehe.

plus, i stay with my parents @ balestier, which is near the whampoa hawker centre and lots of eateries are located here .... so i get to eat yummy lor mee, vegetarian noodles, 板面, duck rice, bak kut teh, chicken rice etc etc whenever i want!

and this trip, i discovered the food court @ the basement of the newly opened ION Orchard! it has almost everything that i want to eat and the standard's not bad!! beef noodles, chye tow kuay, laksa, prawn noodle, ngoh hiang, chicken rice and CHENDOL!!! yeah, that's a hard to find dessert these days! i love the chendol.

but unfortunately, i really cannot stomach as much as i would love to this trip. the pregnancy is getting in the way. hehehe.